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  • Writer's picturePhilip Bryer

Jay Blades' TV Takeover

As the British public* apparently can’t get enough of TV shows about people mending things, I’d like to share some recent pitches with you:

University Scavenge

Jay and the gang take a brainbox tour of the UK’s top universities. But what will they find that’s worth tarting up and flipping for a profit? Maybe some dreary, dusty old books which could be repurposed as coffee tables or the odd priceless sculpture that’s just crying out to be transformed into a table lamp. Drills at the ready!

Have I Got Screws For You?

Joined by his little helpers Hislop and Merton in the fixings department at Wickes, Jay gets up to all sorts of screwy tricks.

Call My Buff

Is the finish true or does it need a buff? Choose wisely.

Not Gouging Out

The makeover crew chisels deep into sitcom territory.

Deadliest Catch

A serious departure: Jay takes a look at the hazards that can result from not ensuring those fastenings are secured properly.

The Weakest Link

An in-depth look at what can go wrong when your chains aren’t properly maintained.

This Awning

Jay lands on morning TV to showcase how YOU can transform that dreary outdoor space.

Homes Under the Hammer

The Blades gang use sledgehammers to smash up perfectly good houses to see what they can upcycle from what’s left.


Walls came tumbling down. Well, they would if not for Jay and his emergency bricks ‘n’ mortar repair team.

Miami Vice

Jay-B really canes the expenses by heading out to Florida to talk about a thing that holds another thing really tightly.

Diagnosis, Girder

Jay and his pals tell us what’s wrong with that bridge support. But only after an hour of ad-free fannying about.

Only Tools and Porches

(Get on with it, Ed.)

To the Spanner Born

Penelope Keith joins Jay as they embark on a hilarious tour of the nation’s dodgy immersion heaters.

The Good Splice

Precision woodwork with Tom and Barbara…and Jay!

Thatch of the Day

Close up shots are this show’s challenge: thatched roof or dodgy wig? Mooted presenters included Bruce Forsyth, Frankie Howerd, and Terry Wogan.  

Law and Order: SVU

In Bladesworld, that means making sure that your sockets, valves, and U-bends are fully compliant.

Tipping Point

Ben Shephard joins Jay down at the municipal dump to consider what’s the bloody point of it all.


 * Nobody asked me, though.

With thanks to Mrs B for her valued, and mainly superior, contributions.








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