The Dark Age of Song
Updated: Nov 4, 2022
A brief reappraisal of lyrical content
Wives and Lovers – Bacharach/David
Unreconstructed sexist claptrap from the Dark Ages.
Sample lyric:
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
Really? Bloody good riddance, then.
Young Girl - Fuller
The fish in a barrel choice, obviously. But there is a caveat.
Sample lyric:
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know that it's wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes
When all’s said and done, the singer is trying to do the right thing. Isn't he?
By the Time I Get to Phoenix – Webb
A song which chronicles the self-pitying road-trip of a spineless git.
Sample lyric:
She'll find the note I left hanging on her door
She'll laugh, when she reads the part that says I'm leaving
Cause I've left that girl, so many times before
There’s phrase which Mrs B employs at times of heightened stress: “Rack off, fart face.” I think we can make use of it here.
Twenty Four Hours from Tulsa - Bacharach/David
Well, well, it’s Burt and Hal again.
Sample lyric:
And so I walked up to her
Asked where I could get something to eat
And she showed me where
Despite the geography being in favour of his existing LTR, apparently this chap is unable to resist the gal who’s a little, shall we say, forward.
Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen – Sedaka/Greenfield
Neil Sedaka, a man whose appearance suggests he went straight from puberty to middle-age.
Sample lyric:
Tonight's the night
I've waited for
Ticking off the dates on the calendar. Creepy, Neil, creepy.
Stray Cat Blues – Jagger/Richards
Where to start?
Sample lyric:
There'll be a feast if you just come upstairs
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime
I can see that you're fifteen years old
No I don't want your ID
The Stones were dubbed ‘them British bad boys’ by Bob Dylan on his most recent release. But surely, if they're that ‘bad’ why haven't they played this live since 2003?
Los Paraguayos – Stewart/Wood
Demanding old geezer ditches attentive girlfriend/skivvy because it’s getting chilly.
Sample lyric:
Honey don't even ask me if you can come along
Down at the border you need to be older
and you sure don't look like my daughter
Your ridiculous age, start a state outrage
and I'll end up in a Mexican jail
Unless her ‘ridiculous age’ means she has plenty more miles on the clock than Rod Stewart. Which seems unlikely.
Look Through Any Window – Gouldman/Silverman
The Hollies don their dirty macs and set off for a night on the local housing estate.
Sample lyric:
Oh you can see the little ladies in their gowns when you
Look through any window yeah, any time of day
Mildly stalky
Honey Hush - Turner
Domestic violence dished out as a reaction to having a tearful yet talkative partner.
Sample lyric:
I said come in this house, stop all that yackety yack
Come in here woman, stop all that yackety yack
Don't make me nervous 'cause I'm holdin' a baseball bat, honey hush
After Big Joe Turner wrote this, he assigned the copyright to his wife, Lou Willie Turner. Which was smart, if only it wasn’t all over Wikipedia.
Wishin’ and Hopin’ – Bacharah/David
You two again!
Sample lyric:
Show him that you care just for him
Do the things he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, cause
You won’t get him
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’
Wishin’ and hopin’
The kings of the doormat song strike again.
