An exclusive excerpt from Bryer's A-Z Guide to Life

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce – Karl Marx. A triumph of hope over experience – Samuel Johnson. Can we not knock it? – Graham Taylor. Fear naught, we have not gathered around this virtual campfire to speak of louse-bearded old commie nutjobs or second marriages, we’re here to talk about football. Although to qualify that, and hopefully to drag back those sensible types who think I’ve just given them the ready, set, and greenlight to head quick-smart